


Playing Cards Of Probability and Risk

by cosmoroc5



Series: Make This Easy For Me [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Addition To MTEFM, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caring Rick, Cheating!Daryl, Childhood Friends, Daryl Being an Asshole, Daryl Has Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Shane, Hurt Shane, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Protective Rick, Rick Explains, Rick to the Rescue, Rickyl, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, sharyl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-07 19:20:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8813062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmoroc5/pseuds/cosmoroc5
Summary: The aftermath of Daryl and Shane's break up is not pretty. Shane is trying to cope with Daryl's cheating and the fact it was with his ex-best friend, Rick Grimes. He isn't handling it the best. After the devestation of wanting to purpose and finding out your boyfriend of five years has been sucking your 'best friends' cock in his free time, Shane has taken to drinking and trying desperately to get his shit together. Its been a month and a half and Daryl sets out to fix things in his own way only for SHane to shut him down. Rick shows up next and hopes vainly to smooth over the jagged edges Daryl's left behin.





	1. Risk

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read Make This Easy For me, an earlier drabble I wrote, I suggest reading before reading this. This snippet will have two chapters. One for Rick one for Daryl and possibly a third for the aftermath of the make up, if I choose for them to fully make up. This snippet CAN be read and understood on its own, but everyone loves a little context here and there. 
> 
> Regardless, enjoy my friends.

Shane gave Abraham a weary smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, earning a sympathetic look and a sturdy pat on the shoulder, something he appreciated even if it didn’t show on his face. It felt nice to at least have a few people that cared enough to make sure he was taking care of himself in the very least. He nodded to the man and gave him a solemn glance as he got up from the bar, sipping at his scotch lightly and gazing at the neat rows of glasses balanced behind the bar a pensive expression crossing his features as he studied the glistening glass. He didn’t stir when a body settled to his right, not even acknowledging the person as he ordered, still staring through the wall before him. 

“Ain’t lookin’ to talk, Dixon.”, he said quietly, finally shifting his gaze towards his drink which had taken to sweating on the small napkin near where his folded arms rested against the mahogany bar top. The body next to him tensed and fidgeted for a moment before stilling.

“Didn’t come to talk, Shane. Just came to drink.”, Daryl murmured in return, causing Shane to sigh deeply. The cop rubbed at his head for a moment, an action he only did when agitated, anxious, or exasperated. Daryl took it as all three, but didn’t move, remaining firmly on his bar stool. 

Shane made no move to start conversation, though his body continued to grow tense gradually. The man had just grasped his drink again when Daryl’s hand touched his wrist and he flinched, tensing so hard and quick the glass shattered in his palm, causing him to hiss out a sharp curse and jump up as both scotch and blood splashed over the bar top. 

“Shit. Fuck, AJ, I’m sorry, man. I’ll pay for it.”, he said quickly, stuttering for a moment as the fresh cuts on his palm throbbed while he attempted to keep the liquid on the bar and not on the floor. The bartender shook his head lightly and grasped Shane’s wrist to stop him in his panic. 

“Shane, chill. Those glasses were cheap anyway. Its on me.”, he said softly, lightly tugging Shane’s arm closer and examining it, “Besides, you’re the first to apologize for breaking one…and the first one to do it without shattering it over someone else’s head.”

Shane sighed at that and let AJ pluck at the remaining glass in his palm, wrapping a towel around it careful, complaining about their lack of a First Aid Kit before shooing Daryl out of the way so he could clean up the glass and spilled scotch. The cop tried to apologize again, but AJ just hushed him and told him it was on the house and he didn’t need to worry, not before throwing a nasty look Daryl’s way though, who looked increasingly guilty the more time passed. The dark haired cop gave one last weary look at the mess before ambling his way out the bar with his head down and collar up, looking none-too-pleased with himself or the little scene that had played out. 

Daryl followed out after him once he threw a couple dollars next to his untouched drink, jogging to catch up with the male’s long and quick strides. Shane let out a frustrated breath, glancing to his side as Daryl fell into step next to him. 

“The fuck happened to making this easy for me? Shit. Just leave me the fuck alone. You obviously got what you wanted, Daryl. Why can’t you just leave me out of it? What the fuck do you want?”, he snapped, stopping and whirling to press into Daryl’s space, his shoulders squaring and body barring up to full height so he could loom over the shorter male.

The Dixon didn’t appear phased by the behavior, merely nervous, and he lightly fiddled with something in his pocket before pulling out a chain that made Shane’s gut drop and lurch forward again. Daryl shifted from foot to foot before slipping it into the taller male’s jacket pocket. “Rick…Rick wanted you to keep it…Wanted me ta as-“

“So, all this shit is for, Rick? Fucking figures. ‘Course you wouldn’t want to see me because you missed me or shit like that. Jesus motherfucking Christ. Fuck you, Dixon. Tell your pretty boy that I don’t give a good goddamn what he wants. I don’t want this. Tell him to shove it up his ass for all I care. Or yours for that matter.”, Shane spat, baring his teeth as the tips of his ears flushed a light red that signaled his obvious anger. He shoved the necklace into Daryl’s hands and moved back so quick it was as if it burned him to touch it. He turned tail just as quick and briskly walked off, leaving a dejected Daryl to stand in the middle of the side walk and wallow in guilt and self pity. 

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

When Shane got home he was alight with rage, his body filling with a sorrow so painful it made it physically hard to breath. He cursed and screamed and slammed his fist straight through the dry wall of his living room before slumping to the ground and allowing himself to indulge in his own tears. They fell thick and hot down his already red cheeks and he let out a light sob, holding his hands over the back of his head as he curled in on himself. He’d been better the past few days. His chest had felt a little lighter and his smiles came a little easier and of course Daryl Dixon had to prance up and happily watch him crumble into nothing _again_. 

He barely slept that day and called into work that morning, opting to slump onto his couch and pass out watching old westerns he’d had buried in his closet from way back when he, Rick, and Lori used to have movie nights on Tuesdays. The memory had been bittersweet, but pleasant enough to allow him ease enough to dose off for a few hours at least. When he wakes again its from a deep sleep and due to someone knocking on his front door. It leaves him agitated, but too worn out to get angry, so instead of yelling for the person to fuck off, he actually rises and answers the door.

Rick looks over his shoulder from where he was about to move down the first step and turns slowly, locking eyes with his ex-partner. They remain silent for a moment, Shane getting nauseous and Rick getting nervous. Just as Shane begins to close the door again Rick steps forward and puts a hand on it, leaning in to keep it from clicking shut. 

“Shane, please…Hear me out, broth-“

“Don’t call me that….Fuck, please…Just don’t.”, Shane hushed reply nearly breaks Rick’s heart and he presses his forehead to the door, trying to ease it further open, managing to get enough so he could halfway meet Shane’s eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, and Rick saw the exact moment his ex-partner’s resolve began to chip away. The sight steeled him and he pressed a hand to the door, easing it open a little more. 

“Please…Shane, hear me out…I owe you an explanation..Fuck, I owe you so much more then that…At least let me give you this..”, Rick muttered quietly, holding his eye, “You’re right..I don’t deserve to call you a brother.”

Shane let out a breath so harsh it was as if Rick had punched him and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as if in pain, setting his forehead against the edge of the door for a moment. “Why…Can’t you both just leave me alone..”, he whispered so quietly Rick had to double take to make sure he heard him correctly. Shane wasn’t speaking specifically to Rick, but the words were definitely aimed at him. 

Rick swallowed down the tightening of his throat and leaned forward to put his hand over Shane’s easing the door open slowly and slipping in before guiding Shane into his arms, the cops head plopping onto his shoulder. The shorter of the two was aware Shane didn’t have enough fight in him to go against the comforting gesture, so he took advantage of the cooperation while he had the chance, smoothing his hand over the man’s back, the other arm wrapped around his waist. Shane leaned into the movements and inhaled deeply, taking in a scent he knew intrinsically, taking in the form that was indubitably Rick. Familiar and warm and surprisingly comforting, reminding him of Mrs. Grimes and how she used to come up and embrace him tightly whenever he walked through the door. How Mr. Grimes would pat him on the shoulder and brag about him and his football skills to the cops he worked with. How little Loraine would curl up in his lap to watch Disney movies and fight to sit next to him at the dinner table or hold his hand as he and Rick walked her to school. It brought warmth to his chest that felt less like harsh pressure and more like what he used to feel constantly when with the Grimes family and his grandmother. Like he once felt when he was in Daryl’s arms. Like he was home.

He pressed into his best friend’s arms and pressed his nose to the man’s neck, his arms finally coming up to grip the thinner man to him. “I’ve always hated and loved you, so much.”, he whispered faintly into the man’s neck, feeling Rick tense for a moment and then relax, arm tightening slightly around his middle.

“I’ve never hated you, Shane. Not once in my entire life. I don’t think I ever could.”, came the response, hushed and breathy against his ear, and it made him shudder lightly before he shoved his face further into the man’s neck. “C’mon…Sit down with me…We’ll talk a minute…Or, not at all, even…What ever you want, Shane. I’ll give you whatever the hell you want.”

Shane didn’t answer right away, just allowed himself to be guided to sit on the couch, still pressed into Rick’s side, warm and at ease for at least the moment. “You can go ahead. I just…Want to stay like this for a minute.”, he uttered finally as Rick’s hand trailed to rub gentle circles on the back of his neck. The action made him melt completely into the man, grumbling lightly in contentment at the sensation. That had always been a comforting action between him and the Grimes man. Rick would always press his hand to the back of his neck to calm him down or soothe him in situations like these. Always knew when he really needed it and just how to relax him. And, as much as he cursed him for it, Rick knew he needed this right now. Desperately. 

“I never intended for things to turn out the way they did...Daryl approached me with a proposition. Said stuff about knowing how I looked at you as more then a brother. Stuff about how I looked at him. And, fuck, Shane he wasn’t wrong. I’ve always loved you. I intended to wait until I could figured out how to tell you I wanted you both, but I chickened out and Daryl got impatient. I knew you wanted to marry Daryl and I was scared if I intervened that…that you’d hate me. Now, I get what I did was no better. I shouldn’t have bedded with him. Especially not when I knew how you felt. I should’ve waited. Should’ve told you. Instead I-…Shane, I’m sorry.”, Rick explained slowly, gingerly stroking the tender skin at the back of Shane’s neck. “Never wanted any of it to go down this way…Shane, you’ve always been one of the most important people in my life…Brother, I’ve loved you for years. Daryl just..Just fell into place. It was never my intention to harm you..”

Shane, again, remained quiet, processing the information slowly, thinking over Rick’s confession as best he could. Eventually he shifted and placed his hand on the one that was resting on his thigh and held it lightly. 

“You never said anything…About wanting me, I mean.”, he uttered quietly, easing as Rick’s hand grasped his in return, hoping to bypass the main problem for at least a moment, conflict the last thing he wanted this morning.

“I never thought you were interested in men. You never mentioned it and I knew how your dad was…I was too afraid to loose you. So, I settled in with Lori. Don’t get me wrong. I loved her. I still do. Even with the divorce, but it could never amount to what I’ve felt for you over the years.”, the male responded softly, caressing his thumb across the top of his ex-partners hand, rubbing circles into the warm skin comfortingly. 

Shane sighed at the words and contemplated them for a long moment before fidgeting and sitting up, leaning forward to scrub his hands over his face and then through his hair in exasperation and slight frustration. Like he was having trouble processing or the results of his contemplation weren’t making sense or irritated him. So, Rick remained quiet, silently mourning the loss of Shane’s warmth against him and pressed under his chin. He resisted the urge to reach out and smooth a hand down his back or at least hold his shoulder like he normally would have, knowing Shane needed space to comprehend the situation.

Shane was distinctly aware of the fact Rick was a shit liar. He’d never seen a reason to do so unless it involved a threat, like in an interrogation room or someone was questioning him and his methods. Most lies were professional and thought out and of more benefit then just saving his own ass. Shane could tell regardless of that type they were anyway. Rick’s left eyebrow would twitch lightly inwards and he’d cock his head to the right slightly as if he were questioning himself for saying something that wasn’t true. A small tick picked up by Mr. Grimes himself. Even in a professional setting, Rick could still give himself away under the right eyes, and Shane had known him for so long he could pick up the signs from a mile away. Rick wasn’t lying to him. Hadn’t since he entered the house.

After a moment Shane looked back at the deputy, feeling a confusing wave of affection wash over him at the sight of Rick all sitting straight and nervously wiping the palms of his hands on his uniform pants. This may have been the man who slept with his boyfriend, but it was still the one he grew up with. The Rick Grimes who spilled Coke all over Lori on their first date because he was so nervous he tripped. The Rick who took the fall for a school fight so Shane wouldn’t get suspended. The Rick who showed up to every football game whether it was home or away, even once when he had the flu and slept through half of it. The Rick that he knew intrinsically and knew him intrinsically. The Rick that showed up on his doorstep, even at risk of getting punched in the face or worse, because he knew Shane needed explanation and comfort and that he wouldn’t have accepted it from any one other then him. The Rick he’d loved since they were six, brotherly or not.

Rick fidgeted under the gaze before his eyebrows shot up as Shane leaned in, cupping the side of his face. Shane didn’t close the gap fully, keeping enough space that their noses were just barely brushing, but Rick could feel the man’s heat and his warm breath on his lips and the strong hand against his jaw and his eyes fell half lidded in elation. He stayed still for a moment before reaching his own up to brush over the one at his cheek, cupping it in return and turning his head to press a soft kiss to the cops palm. Shane’s own gaze fell half lidded in return, this look less bliss and more adoration, and for a second Rick couldn’t breathe right.

“Shane…?”, Rick breathed out, the name holding an unspoken question that showed plainly in those too blue eyes. Shane answered with a barely there nod before they met one another halfway, the touch hesitant, testing. Each movement was delicate and withdrawn, both too scared to go much further then innocent touches of lips for the moment. They kissed like that for what felt like hours, all sweet motions and feathery caresses as their hands came up to tentatively cup cheeks and necks and card slowly through hair. 

They both pulled back mildly dazed yet hyperaware of their position, lips tingling and cheeks warm, breath slightly heavy due to both of them holding it as they’d kissed. Their gazes locked for a few seconds before Rick was breathily chuckling and caressing his fingers down the side of Shane’s face, gazing at him as if he wasn’t real. As if he were a figment of his imagination and touching him was the only way to ground himself to reality. To prove Shane was really there. The action made the taller of the two smile warmly, an action that finally reached his eyes for the first time in weeks, and Rick made a weak noise, pulling Shane down for one more kiss before he laid their foreheads together. 

“Fuck, Shane…I’ve been wantin’ that, for…..For _years_.”, Rick muttered softly, smoothing his thumbs over Shane’s cheekbones, rubbing at them with gentle care. He leaned in and kissed Shane softly a few times, tentative and sweet before gently mouthing at his jaw, shifting his lips over the smooth skin before lightly pressing a kiss to his pulse point. He caressed his mouth back up to Shane’s, feathering them together before shifting to kiss his temple, drawing Shane closer to him. “Been wantin’ _you_ for years..”

Shane was left surprised and breathless by the words, a flush spreading over his cheeks and tinting the tops of his ears. He let out a weak sound and his head fell back, allowing Rick to mouth and kiss over the expanse of his neck, desperate to be showered in love and affection after so long. The fact Rick seemed so solemn and truthful made his gut churn in affection and warmth and made his body heat up and tingle pleasantly. He tightly gripped at Rick’s arms, allowing himself to be situated onto the couch, sprawling back down and tipping his head to allow the deputy’s lips to travel wherever they pleased. 

“Rick..”, he groaned out when the male’s finally took to lightly nipping and biting at the skin, one of his hands sliding up his arm to cup the back of the cops neck, tangling in the loose curls there. The male on top of his shuddered at the sound and he felt something twitch against his leg, a matching groan of approval leaving Rick’s throat. He let out surprised grunt as the deputy’s hips rolled sharply against his own, the sudden friction leaving him gasping and withering under the shorter of the two. Rick cursed under his breath at the feeling and pulled back, appearing to try to collect himself somewhat before he leaned down to softly peck Shane’s lips.

“Maybe…Maybe we should slow down a little. Been waitin’ for this for so long…Don’t know how well I’ll be able to handle myself so quick.”, he said softly, lightly stroking at Shane’s side as he pressed their foreheads together in a steadying motion, trying to ground himself. “Still need ta talk to Daryl, too…”, he added, softer and more hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure if saying the simple word was alright just yet. 

Shane quieted and looked away, thinking back to the events that had been taking place for the past month and a half, grimacing at the recollection. Rick appeared uneasy again and softly trailed his fingers over the larger male’s side in hopes of soothing him, sighing in relief when Shane’s sad eyes moved back to his, conflicted and hurt. Rick dipped down and pressed a slow kiss to the male’s forehead before shifting to settle onto the couch, helping Shane sit up beside him and drawing him close, back into their original position. He smoothed a hand over the male’s back and gave a weary sigh, pecking Shane’s forehead lightly before he began to speak. 

“Brother, I know…I know full and well what we’ve done is wrong. Unforgivable. But, you heard my peace. Listened. You forgave me in a way. I know you’re still bitter. I don’t blame you. Not even a little. It would have been justified if you’d kicked me out into the damn yard like a dog and told me you never wanted to see me again. What happened between me and Daryl stemmed from my love for you. He got impatient. You know how he is. All action, few words. He got tired of waiting for me to grow a pair and ‘fess up. He said he’d known you’d at least like me back. ‘Figured our history had it written in the stars s’pose. I don’t fully well and why he wanted me in the picture s bad or why he initiated it in the first place, but I do know he’s been pissier’n a wet cat for the past month in a half worried about you. He’s asked me multiple times if I’d heard from you or if you were alright and hinted several times he wanted to come see you.”

“I assumed you wouldn’t fancy him moseying around again, so I tried to make him lay low. I’m guessin’ yesterday was some wild attempt to get some reaction out of you, but looks ta me like you gave him the opposite of what he was expectin’…I’m not going to ask you to do anything. Hell, I won’t even ask you to be with me after all the shit I’ve put you through…But, sweetheart, he has his peace to speak to…And, I feel as though you more then deserve to hear it, whether you like it or not.”, Rick finished gently, hand venturing up to lightly cup the back of his best friend’s neck.

Shane hummed softly in response, giving a sigh and a weak nod, head tilting away from the gentle touch for only a moment before his body leaned into Rick’s. He knew full and well Rick was gullible. For all the shit he talked and how well he talked it, he was an easy man to read. He was confident and fierce when necessary, but indubitably sweet and naïve at times. Built upon this hero-complex Mr. Grimes had always had. A need to serve-and-protect. To see the good in everyone and the possibility of bad. Shane had always figured that’s what kept Rick around, the man’s desire to help and save everyone. And, back when they were kids, Shane had definitely needing saving. He also knew Daryl was a man who needed saving just as equally, someone just, if not more so, broken then him. Scars proved that, scars and flinches and an aversion to touch proved it without doubt.

Shane had always figured that’s what had drawn them to each other. A similar past mixed with a need for gentle yet firm touch that had them swirling together in a cocktail of stability and assurance. They had been two sides of the same coin, Daryl turning out quiet and timid whilst Shane brash and over confident, both hiding behind a façade of confidence, bold words, and a rough outer exterior to protect them from not only ghosts but potential relapses. 

Now, Shane could only assume by default that maybe their similarities were the reason Daryl was drawn to Rick in the first place and what had eventually drawn Rick to him. This sweet, kind hearted man currently holding him through his worries and fears, the man that had been by his side since very nearly the beginning. Rick was a man who wanted to save everyone he could, regardless their situation. A good man who would do just about anything for any one. So, Shane could only assume they’d have come together at one point or the other. His broken boyfriend and golden hearted friend. It made sense in the greater outlook of things. Rick trying to save Daryl and Daryl begging to be saved. 

Even along with the sense it made the sensation of not being enough made his stomach churn and body ache with the idea of inadequacy. Regardless of whether or not the hurt had been intentional, Rick was still showing him up in a way. Putting pieces of Daryl back together that Shane had never managed to get to fit right. But, even still, as uncomfortable and unwelcome as the sensation was, it still put him to ease in some small way. Even if it wasn’t him helping Daryl at least some one was. At least he was getting the help and love Shane had always thought he deserved. In the grand scheme of things, Daryl was a good man. He always had been to Shane and obviously to Rick as well. Despite the shadows of his past, he fought to help and serve-and-protect as much as Rick did. Cared deeply for those close to him and would die protecting them without a second thought. Self-sacrificing and good. 

Shane let out a quiet, dejected noise and sighed deeply before speaking. “Not now…I just..I just want to sit…Like this. Later…Later. Just not now. Just stay. For tonight. Please.”, he uttered, quiet and with much less force then he intended. He wanted to sound stronger, confident like he had before the cheating went down. Before Daryl had left. But, he couldn’t. The event had chipped away part of his resolve, part of his being altogether. Chipped away some part of his self preservation and left him weak. But, that couldn’t be helped and he didn’t have it in him to try and grasp it or feel sorry for himself. He was tired and his head was beginning to hurt and Rick was warm and solid against him, ground him for the moment and he didn’t have it in him to do much more then lay in Rick’s arms and sleep for the next eternity, or, at the very least, until tomorrow. 

Rick shifted beneath him and pressed his face into his hair, nuzzling it for a moment before pulling back with a nod. “Yeah, Brother. Whatever you want. Do whatever the hell you want. Give ya whatever the hell you want. Just let me take you on up to bed and we’ll deal with everything else in the morning. C’mon. Just down the hall and we can sleep all ya want.”, Rick said softly, hushed and pained like it hurt to see him like this. He helped a slumped Shane to his feet and guided him down the hall, lightly kicking the door open. After a moment of helping the dark haired man out of his jeans he settled him down on the bed, purposefully not taking note of the mess or the empty bottles of Brandy sitting on the bedside table, before shrugging out of his own uniform to get comfortable. Once he was down to his boxers and t-shirt and shifted under the covers on the opposite side of Shane, sliding in close to wrap an arm around his ex-partner. 

It didn’t take long for Shane to pass smooth out, body slumping against Rick’s and pressing into his side, face buried in his neck as he slept. Rick sighed soft and stroked at Shane’s side, keeping him close, not perturbed by his quiet snores or closeness. He remained awake for a long time, just laying silent and still and listening close to his ex-partner’s and thinking of the wild month and the events before and the possibilities of after, tracing patterns on the ceiling with his eyes and shapes on the skin peeking out from under Shane’s shirt until his sharp blues began to droop closed. He turned his head to press a lazy kiss to his sleeping friend’s forehead, keeping his lips there for a moment before he tucked his chin over the male’s head, tugging him closer. 

“I’ll give you anything you want..”


	2. Probability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((Currently being Beta'd. Have the raw version!))
> 
> Have chapter two of PCOPAR!  
> I genuinely hope you enjoy, again I'm not sure about this one.  
> Also, this is currently being Beta'd right now, so this is the very raw, first version of this chapter.  
> I love you, guys. ENjoy!!

When Rick woke up the next morning it was with the initial panic of Shane not being in his arms and the sound of thunder. It had nearly seemed as though he’d disappeared into thin air, and Rick very well would have thought he’d dreamed up their entire encounter if it wasn’t for the fact he was in his friend’s bed. Upon getting up, throwing on his pants, and searching the entire house frantically he was greeted by the soft picking of chords on a guitar melding with the patter of rain against the roof. The sound was enough to make him slump in relief and smooth back the wild curls that had fallen in his face. As he crept closer to the open living room window a familiar tune wafted in from the cool outside, drifting in with the damp breeze and the smell of fresh rain. 

“ _That lights in your eyes, like everyone wants it to be, well, can’t you see that it must be this way. Who knows who’s right or wrong, just long as you’re here tonight. Just like my mother, always taking my likings away, when nobody’s watching us._

 _I miss the love, I miss the holidays. I miss my best friend, cheap cigars, stupid kids and movie stars. And just like my father, always taking my likings away, when nobody’s watching us._ ”

Shane’s voice was soothing despite the sadness it held, low and deep and clear with enough of an edge to match the song well. Rick hadn’t heard the man play in ages, having actually been the one to purchase the thing for him a few Christmas’ ago to replace the old shabby one he’d had since he was thirteen back when they were middle school kids. He slowly opened the front door and stepped out turning his head and meeting Shane’s gaze. There was pain in those intense browns, and the sight made Rick’s chest ache, the male’s fingers moving swiftly to skip further forward in the song. 

“ _I missed her sweet smell, I miss it everyday. I miss my best friend, cheap cigars, stupid kids and movie stars. And I missed the last song and I miss you. And this time this one’s for us._

 _I missed the last song. I blame myself for just standing there too long. I missed the last song. I blame myself for standing there too long. I missed the last song. I missed the last song. I missed the last song. I missed the song._ ”

They stayed quiet as he finished, eyes remaining locked, gazing in pain and longing and understanding until Shane’s eyes slowly closed and he picked off the last few chords, hands going still for a moment, just resting on the guitar, hovering momentarily. And for a breath everything was completely silent other then the quiet pitter patter of rain. Shane was the one to break it, sighing long and deep into the damp air, shoulder slumping down as he carefully wedged his pick into one of the top frets under the strings to assure it wouldn’t be lost. 

“Didn’t mean to wake you up.”, he said quietly, leaning back into the chair he was sitting in and dragging a hand through his hair. Rick shook his head, pulling the front door closed and coming to sit in the chair opposite of his friend. He fidgeted for a moment before leaning forward and cupping the male’s cheek, tugging him to lean in. 

“You didn’t.”, he whispered back, hushing any protests with a soft kiss, his thumb gliding over the deputy’s cheek. 

Shane wouldn’t have protested regardless, merely allowing Rick to do as he wished, kissing back slowly yet hesitantly. When they pulled back, Rick set their foreheads together, holding Shane to him for a moment before pulling back fully and pressing a kiss to his forehead. The action made the other man huff, and look away, pulling back completely to situate himself in his seat again, though he shifted his leg so that him and Rick were still touching, lightly hooking a foot around the man’s ankle to maintain contact. The older man smiled at that and lightly nudged his own leg closer to Shane’s, leaning back as a comfortable silence settled over them, eased by the falling rain. 

Rick was the one to break it this time.

“Shane, we don’t have to do this right now. If you still need time to just…Just process.”, he said slowly, leg shifting to lightly nudge against Shane’s in a comforting motion, “I don’t want to make this any more difficult for you.”

The younger man sighed and carded a hand through his hair, shaking his head lightly before rubbing the hand down his face.

“No, it ain’t the time to pussyfoot around this. I at least deserve an explanation. I can process after I have answers. So, shut up and quit tempting me to change my mind….Besides I want to see the kids.”, the man muttered, looking out off the porch to gaze at the rain and the faint glow of early morning. 

The words made Rick smile and he nodded slowly, leaning to set his hand on the deputy’s knee, ”They miss you, too, Shane. Carl’s been being a little shit to Daryl, because he knows you’re upset and knows it’s related to Daryl being around us all the time. And, Judy keeps begging to call you or come over here to visit you. She still asks for you when she has nightmares. She made cookies with Carl yesterday and had an extra plate and when Daryl asked her who it was for, she said ‘S’for Uncie Shane.’ like he was supposed to know that already. They miss you a lot.”

Shane’s expression grew watery and pained for a moment and he nodded slowly, taking a shaky breath. “Shit, I should’ve come over sooner. They don’t deserve to be pushed to the side just because we’re having issues.”, he whispered, letting out a tired sigh, feeling his chest ache for his god niece and nephew. Rick frowned at that and he squeezed the knee he was holding gently. 

“Shane, that ain’t on you. That’s on me and Daryl. All of it.”, he said slowly, stooping slightly to force Shane to meet his eyes. The dark haired male grimaced at the words and looked away again, shaking his head to himself before nodding to appease Rick as he stood.

“Yeah. Yeah. C’mon. I need coffee and a shower.”, Shane muttered, picking up his guitar and moving to open the door, pausing as Rick’s hand fell over his. He looked at the man in confusion only to receive a light peck on the lips. 

“That an invitation?”, Rick muttered, nuzzling his face into the side of Shane neck. Shane scoffed and rolled his eyes, though he made no move to push the male off. 

“Yep. An invitation for you to stay your ass in the kitchen and make me coffee like a good little housewife while I shower.”, he retorted, smiling as Rick chortled against his neck. The elder man shook his head and huffed out another laugh, pressing light kisses to the man’s shoulder. 

“You’re an ass.”

“Grimes, you knew this going in. Now get your skinny ass in that kitchen. You know how I get when I don’t have caffeine first thing.”

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The rest of the morning was slow, their joking and teasing remarks had eased the tension and the damper mood. Rick made coffee and attempted breakfast though Shane wound up having to come in and save it before the eggs were so burnt they stuck to the bottom of the pan, to which Rick went and bought McDonalds as an ‘I’m sorry I can’t cook for shit’. The events were a mix of nostalgia, affection, and adoration, a cocktail that left Shane oddly warm and content to spend the rest of the day on the couch with Rick curled into his chest. 

He sighed as they finished up their coffee, smoothing a hand down his ex-partners side earning a kiss to the jaw. He knew Rick could sense his restlessness which remained just under the surface of the warm comfort their morning had provided. The younger ignored it for now though, pushing it down and distracting himself by tangling his hand in Rick’s curls and pulling him up to connect their lips. The deputy huffed between them, but allowed them to kiss lazily for a few minutes before he pulled back and eyed the taller of the two of them. 

“You’re stalling.”, he said simply and Shane let out an over dramatic sigh and let his head drop with a ‘thunk’ on the arm rest he was propped against. He gazed at the ceiling for a moment before humming at the feeling of Rick’s lips against his throat. 

“And, what if I am?”, he muttered back, smoothing a hand down his ex-partner’s back as he trailed the sweet kisses down to his exposed collarbone. Rick grunted and huffed out a light laugh before moving his head up to peck Shane’s lips as he crawled over his body to stand up. 

“Then, make a decision. I already told you. You don’t have to do anything at all today. You don’t need to and you don’t have to. This is up to you. Not me. Not Daryl. Not the kids. This is about you. You being okay. Nothing else matters, other then that. You can take however long you need. Just decide now if you’d rather wait or go, because if you don’t you’ll wind up restless and worried and panicky, and you don’t deserve that. Either way, I ain’t goin’ anywhere until you tell me to. It’s the weekend so I’ve got two days to stick around until you get sick of me.”, he said softly, leaning down to peck the younger male’s forehead before scooping their coffee mugs up and moving to the kitchen, leaving Shane with his thoughts.

The words left Shane reeling and he pondered for a while before the gravity of Rick’s affections hit him full force. He knew full and well if Rick was pulling his leg about being in love with him, he would’ve already ditched him to go running back to Daryl. Yet, here he was, helping Shane through anything he’ll allow him to. Tending to him and babying him, and not so much out of guilt more so then just wanting to help him, because he loved him. Because he was worried. 

Shane took a moment to wrap his head around that and the realization left him breathless. Rick was still here, making him coffee just how he liked it. Washing dishes in his kitchen from the failed breakfast, giving him time because he knew he needed it yet staying within arms reach because he knew that as much as Shane needed space he also needed companionship. Being his rock just like he always had been. Keeping him stable. The brown eyed man stood and moved to the kitchen slowly, pausing in the doorway a moment to take in Rick leaned against the counter waiting for their second pot of coffee to finish brewing. Rick looked at him curiously, eyeing him as Shane looked him up and down.

Shane moved forward slowly, slinking forward as Rick watched him with calm blues, straightening slightly when the man reached him, allowing himself to be trapped between Shane’s body and the counter. The curly haired deputy smoothed his hands up the taller man’s arms and gripped his biceps gently, keeping eye contact with those intense browns. He tilted his head before smiling as Shane shifted down and their lips met in a slow, deep kiss. When they broke apart, he smiled again, feathering their noses together. 

“What is it?”, he asked softly, a barely there question meant for only their ears, and Shane couldn’t bring himself to answer. Instead, he kissed Rick again, one that stole the shorter man’s breath. The kind of kiss that demanded attention, and Rick didn’t disappoint, one of his hands coming up to twine in the larger man’s hair, keeping him close. They kissed passionately, getting lost in one another, hands tentatively exploring, searching under shirts and over skin with soft touches and delicate brushes of fingers. 

It wasn’t until Rick gasped sharply into Shane’s mouth as the larger male’s thumb swiped over a nipple that the kiss grew heated. Shane, spurred on by the sound, growled back softly and thrust their tongues together a few times, shoving the male harder against the counter before lifting him slightly to sit up on top of it. He pulled back to settle himself between the man’s legs, adjusting Rick so that their pelvises could meet before giving an experimental roll of his hips as he attached his lips to the side of the shorter male’s neck, sucking and lapping at the bared skin. Rick arched into him and released a breathless noise that had Shane humming in approval and rolling his hips forward again just for another taste of the sweet music. 

They moved to kiss again, quick and hard, accidentally clanking their teeth together and jumping apart again at the sudden harsh contact. They looked at each other in surprise for a moment before Shane let out a chortle and Rick followed, tugging Shane close again and setting their foreheads together as they giggled into the air between them. The elder slowly ran a hand through Shane’s locks causing him to smile as they moved in to kiss again, slower this time, gentle and not as frenzied but just as emotional. When they broke apart this time it was to the soft beeping of the coffee pot and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. 

Shane sighed and leaned in to give Rick one last peck on the lips before he pulled away to fix himself another cup while it was still ‘incinerate your pallet’ hot. Rick shimmied off the counter and came up behind the man, wrapping his arms loosely around the taller man’s waist and nuzzling at his shoulder. The deputy turned his head to look at the man and gave him a light smile, wiggling in his arms to get his attention. 

“What is it?”, he asked, mimicking Rick’s earlier question, chuckling when Rick jabbed his side. He paused and set down his spoon, turning around in the elder man’s grasp to look at him, dropping his head so their foreheads could touch. “Seriously, Rick, what is it?”, he asked again, softer this time and less playful. 

Rick only shook his head at first, giving Shane a calculated gaze, one he knew well. His ex-partner was testing the waters. Feeling out the territory of their new, feeble dynamic. He was afraid to speak. Shane eyed the male back before reaching up to lightly caress his cheek, feathering their lips together, placing delicate kisses on the shorter man’s bottom lip before moving to nuzzle his jaw, rubbing his nose along the scruffy path to his neck where he buried his face.

“Rick, ya ain’t gotta be so skittish, brother. Go on.”

Rick hesitated again but only for a second, “I just…I never thought this would..Would actually happen. You know? Not the affair, but you returning anythin’ towards me…Sure as hell never figured you’d be nuzzled into my neck after we’d made out on the kitchen counter. I mean…I thought about it, but I never figured that…Well, you know.”

The words had Shane smiling against Rick’s soft skin.

“Oh? So, you have fantasized.”, he muttered lowly, tongue shifting to lave over the crook of the man’s neck, feeling him shudder beneath his palms. An obvious attempt to bypass the whole ‘affair’ situation.

Rick huffed and shoved him lightly, cheeks darkening as he continued preparing the cup of coffee Shane had abandoned. Shane chuckled and took that as a big yes, pecking the back of his neck and watching as the curly haired cop finished his cup and began making himself a second.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

The morning passed slow, much to Shane’s pleasure. He’d rather lounge on the couch with Rick draped over his chest watching The Andy Griffon Show reruns then face Daryl and the gravity of their current relationship, – or, better titled, their lack-there-of – as well as the matter of him and Rick’s newfound one. Now that was another can of worms altogether, especially due to the kids. If Carl was already picking up on Rick and Daryl’s affair, how would he fare with knowing his ‘Uncie Shane’ was now ‘Daddy Shane’, and could Judy even manage to fathom the huge change in her fragile age. She probably wouldn’t understand, and treat it the same way she does anything she couldn’t comprehend; simply accept it and go about her business with a gap-toothed smile and a giggle. 

The thoughts made Shane head hurt and chest ache with a complicated cocktail of longing to see the two again and apprehension at the mess that would arise. He let out a long sigh and slid his hand down Rick’s spine, mapping out the curve of his spine and the dip of the little dimples at the base of it. Rick melted under the soft touch and gingerly kissed the side of Shane’s neck, nuzzling it warmly. Shane could sense him wanting to speak, but didn’t press, not wanting to hear Rick tell him again that they didn’t have to do anything. He tilted his head to the side and kissed Rick’s temple lightly before softly nudging him, urging him to get up. 

“C’mon. You were right. I made my decision. I want to see the kids. And, you said he won’t be home ‘til six. That gives me time to get my head on straight.”, he said quietly, glancing at the clock to find it around two-thirty. 

Rick shifted and lifted himself lightly before lightly shifting so Shane would look at him, giving him a light peck on the lips and a gentle look, “I’m proud of you, Shane…Even if that doesn’t mean a whole lot.” The words were quiet and sealed with another kiss, one that lasted longer and tasted much sweeter then before. 

The words were what left Shane warm though. Warm in a way that surpassed arousal and bordered something more. So much more. He pushed that thought down and let out a quiet hum to let Rick know he’d been heard, watching him with dazed browns as he rose up onto his knees. Rick paused in his maneuver and lowered his hips to rest flush on Shane’s, an action that made the man suck in a sharp breath and grasp the male’s thighs. The shorter of the two hummed, his hands resting carefully on Shane’s chest, gazing down at him for a moment.

“To answer your previous question..Yes. I did fantasize…More often then you think.”

That left Shane a little winded, mouthing falling open and eyes flicking to meet Rick’s in surprise. Rick merely gave him a swift once over and stood, not giving Shane much time to think on the words before he stooped and kissed him, earning a rough roll of the younger’s hips. The motion had Rick groaning softly and struggling to find the will to sit up again, occupied by the sensation of Shane’s hands smoothing over his thighs to grip at him rear and urge him closer. 

“Think I could help a few of those fantasies come to life?”, Shane muttered, tone dropping in a way that had Rick gasping quietly. 

It was strange for Shane to feel such a sexual attraction towards Rick. Of course the energy had always been there. They’d always had this deep, unspoken bond. This force that drew them together, made them click and function as a team even in high school, but Shane had never perceived Rick as being anything but straight, all those late nights awake and staring at the ceiling while they shared a bed as kids, wondering if he should act on the heat coiling in his stomach being completely squashed in grade school when Lori joined their little party. The way Rick had always ogled at her, made Shane sure there was no chance, even if their friendly touches and looks of respect lingered too long at times. With that in mind, Shane found himself thinking that if the opportunity had presented itself, if he’d had the slightest idea Rick was interested in men, that things would have been much different between them over the years. 

“Fuck, Shane..”, Rick breathed, dropping to kiss Shane again deeply, gripping his shoulders as their hips rolled together.

He could barely find it in him to pull back. In many ways Rick felt the same, with one major difference, he had always felt a sexual attraction towards Shane. He wasn’t a man known for suppressing, instead he let them sit under the surface, taunting him whenever they were close, whenever Shane helped them renovate, whenever he pinned a criminal, the way his throat moved and Adams apple bobbed when he downed his beer. It felt almost painful for him to pull back when this was he’d desired since he was thirteen and Shane was so solid and real beneath his fingertips. 

“There’ll be time later…Fuck, I want it..But, later…We have things we need to do..” Rick’s resolve nearly broke when Shane groaned out his obvious disproval and lightly suckled on his bottom lip. But he steeled himself and lifted his body away from Shane, forcing himself to ignore the strong hands on his hips. 

Shane released a heavy sigh, leaning in to trail wet, open-mouthed kisses down the exposed column of Rick’s throat, allowing his hands to explore his sides for a second longer before he obediently dropped them. He looked so disappointed that Rick nearly wanted to apologize but instead he merely pressed a sweet kiss to the deputy’s lips and stood, adjusting himself and smoothing his curls back. Shane allowed himself a moment to take in the male before him, smirking to himself as he reached down to indiscreetly adjust his semi hard junk into a more comfortable position. Rick followed the movement and swallowed thickly only succeeding in making Shane look more smug. The younger gave a light laugh and stood, pressing into his ex partners space to give him a sweet kiss, holding his waist for a moment before giving the male’s ass a light squeeze. 

“C’mon, Brother..Like you said, we got shit to handle.”, he murmured softly, voice gentle now instead of teasing. The remained in place for a few minutes longer, just breathing one another in before they finally broke apart, reluctantly pulling on boots and jackets.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

The ride there grew gradually more tense, the closer the crept, the more quiet Shane grew and the more nervous Rick became. That dissipated once the set foot on the porch, though a happy screech and an excited shout instantly putting Shane in a better mood. The front door flung itself open and Judy came bounding out, throwing herself into Shane while Carl sprinted after her, beaming at the sight of Shane. Judy scrabbled up to grasp both of Shane’s cheeks, squishing them with a happy giggle.

“Uncie! You’re back! I misted you!”, she exclaimed, giving him a sloppy wet kiss on the nose before flopping her head on his shoulder and gripping her hands together behind his neck. 

Carl stepped up, smoothing his hair out of his face and nudging Shane’s side with a bright smile, “We missed you.”

The events had Shane aching with relief and he put a hand of Carl’s head, the other gripping Judy to him just taking in the moment before he let out a breathless noise, smiling down at the two, “I missed you.” 

The two beamed at that and then suddenly Judy was down on the ground and dragging Shane into the house by the hand, giving Shane just enough time to note to look Rick was giving him before he was being whisked off to the play room. And, as much as he would usually turn down the option to be a princess, he let Carl be the prince and Judy dress him up, not able to find it in him to deny the two anything. It wasn’t just the guilt of not seeing them, but the relief of knowing they loved him. Needed him, that made him so weak in the knees for the little four year old babbling away and painting his nails and the boy currently snickering as he placed a plastic tiara on his head, situating it among the dark curls. He could faintly hear Rick speaking to someone and concluded it was probably just Beth, the kids’ normal babysitter, and went back to listening to Judy babble about some new Disney movie.

They remained like that until Judy laid down for a late nap, leaving Shane to scrub off the make up she had so carefully caked on. He was still leaned over the sink rubbing at his eyes with a rag when he felt arms wrap around his middle. He straightened a bit and looked into the mirror, finding a smiling Rick. He smiled back a bubbly feeling arising in his chest as he tossed the rag down and turned, hand finding Rick’s cheek and his hip as their lips met between a shared breathless laugh. 

“Blues’ a good color on you.”, Rick muttered against Shane’s lips causing Shane to let out a pleased chortle as he pulled back to show off his nails.  
“It’s teal.”, he shot back playfully, relishing in the snort he earned a he leaned in to kiss Rick again, giving him a sweet peck before he turned to give his face a once over. 

“..That’s what made it different with him..”, Rick muttered quietly, causing Shane to pause and eye him curiously from the mirror. Rick looked uncomfortable then and shifted a bit, crossing his arms over his chest. “Daryl..That’s what made Daryl different…How he was with the kids. It made me see him as…As more, ya know? It wasn’t just…Just me being attracted to him physically…It was kinda like…Kinda like me havin’ a part of you too…Like, how…Since he was yours and I had some of him, that I had a part of you. That..That doesn’t sound right, but I didn’t register just how wrong that was ‘til you found out, and then I couldn’t do anythin’ about it.”

Shane straightened and turned to look the elder man, gazing at him in an assessing manner. Rick quieted and didn’t meet his eye, clenching his jaw before glancing up. 

“I knew you wanted to marry him. And, I didn’t want that to happen. I mean, I guess in some way I didn’t want it to be that official. My first chance. The first glimpse of hope to have you that way after decades of wondering, and you were already happy. I can admit, now, that I was bitter. I really was. But, then he hung around and I noticed him with the kids and…When he gave me the proposition, I almost felt like it was my chance to make him seem like a less ideal husband. That wasn’t right, none of it. I didn’t have the right ta…..I didn’t…I’m…Sorry-”

“Shoulda. Woulda. Coulda. Rick, I ain’t worried about that. I know you had your reasons. You already apologized. There obviously ain’t any love lost between us, brother. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize. What Daryl did is on him. I’ve heard your side, quite holding all that guilt. It ain’t on you. Well…It ain’t all on you. You wouldn’t’ve done anything if Daryl hadn’t’ve.”, Shane cut in, coming forward and setting his hands on his hips, waiting until Rick looked at him, “All of this isn’t on you.” He paused to let that sink in before he dipped his head down a bit to press their lips together, staying like that for a moment before he pulled away and gave him a light nod. 

“Now, help me find the damn nail polish remover. I need to go into this with at least some dignity.”

That earned Shane a chuckle and he felt the ball in his chest unwind a little and his breathing get a little easier. He smiled back in a relieved fashion and lightly kissed the side of his mouth again before allowing Rick to move out of the bathroom to the hall closet. He released a deep sigh and rubbed a hand through his hair, leaning up against the sink in thought. His brooding moment was cut short by Rick carefully crowding into his space, ducking his head to allow their eyes to meet before their lips met soft and slow enough to have Shane furrowing his eyebrows and tentatively hovering his hands on the mans waist. 

They separated only slightly, testing each other for a moment, gazing at one another before they met again, even slower still, deep and careful. They moved in a slow rhythm, Shane hands skating under Rick’s shirt, Rick’s moving to curl into Shane’s hair, nail polish remover cast to the side, forgotten for the moment, as they shifted in a silent waltz out of the bathroom into the master bedroom. Shane pulled the man closer, drawing him against his chest as he struggled to close the bedroom door whilst keeping their lips connected. The action made Rick huff against his lips good naturedly and reach around him to nudge the door close, locking it while Shane busied himself with whatever exposed skin he could reach along Rick’s neck.

They pulled back once more, brushing their noses together before Rick reached up to cup the back of Shane’s neck, guiding their lips together, leading him forward until he felt the backs of his legs hit the bed. Shane took the initiative to guide Rick to lay against the mattress, keeping their lips melded together until he felt Rick’s hands tentatively touch what skin had revealed itself beneath his shirt. He eased back and sat up, taking in Rick’s worried expression before grasping the edge of it and pulling it over his head. A soft gasp sounded above him and his eyes flicked to Rick’s, watching him take in the exposed skin. He followed Rick’s expression, watching it shift as he moved his hands over his torso, taking in every dip and curve, admiring the body he’d longed to touch for years. 

Their eyes finally met and Rick made a breathless noise in the back of his throat, hands skimming over Shane’s biceps as he bent to allow their lips to meet again, this time with a little more abandon. One of Shane’s hands shifted to work open Rick’s shirts, quickly popping buttons open, pulling back from the kiss to caress his fingers down the male’s bare side. He leaned down, pressing slow kisses across his collarbone and down his chest, trailing then down to his lower stomach, indulging himself in nuzzling at the male’s happy trail and the soft, sensitive skin around it. He looked up to find Rick watching him, propped up and winded and lightly grasping at the sheets. The deputy softened and leaned up to peck his lips, stopping short as knock sounded throughout the room.

“Rick, open the damn door. The hell’d you lock it for..”

Shane felt his gut drop and him and Rick shared a shaky look before lifting themselves from the bed, Rick buttoning his shirt and Shane tugging his back over his head. He wasn’t as concerned about appearing suspicious, not thinking it really mattered on account of their situation. He rubbed lightly at his face before reaching for the doorknob, unlocking it and twisting it open, steeling himself silently for the conversation he’d been dreading. Daryl seemed ready to tell Rick off, but was blindsided by the sight of Shane before him, mouth falling open then snapping shut. 

Rick stayed silent behind them, knowing well enough to stay out of it until motioned to do otherwise, and Shane took the moment to take in Daryl’s form. He was still in his work clothes, splashed here and there with motor oil and dirt and selling identical to the garage, a smell Shane once welcomed, now one that made his stomach churn. He had a large black streak on his forehead, no doubt from his hands, and Shane noted how bitten down his nails were, giving him some confirmation that the mechanic had been as antsy as him. 

The male shifted awkwardly in the doorway, jaw flexing as he bit on the inside of his cheek impulsively. Shane snapped his eyes away from the male, swallowing down the wave of affection that washed over him at the familiar sight. He took a breath, closing his eyes against the rising panic squirming in his gut before snapping them open at the sensation of someone pressing against him. Daryl pressed a little tighter against him, arms tightly gripping around his middle and shoulder, as if he was afraid Shane would push him off. He then flew off the larger, moving back to his original position in the doorway before Shane could fully react. The action wasn’t lost on Shane, he was fully aware of how foreign that motion was for Daryl, how rarely he engaged in contact like that or made the first move in any sort of affectionate manner. 

The archer raised his hand, beginning to bite at his already damaged nail, shifting himself in that odd angle that signified wariness or discomfort, and Shane let out a breath through his nose. He moved forward carefully, holding Daryl’s gaze which narrowed in curiosity. He reached up and lightly cupped the back of Daryl’s neck, bringing him forward, watching closely as he dropped his hand from his mouth and moved into the embrace, their foreheads gently knocking together. His hands came up to rest on Shane’s biceps, one slipping to grip the wrist of the hand at his neck while the other glided down to grasp Shane’s opposite hand. The stayed pressed close, breathing each other in, relishing in one another’s presence. It was Shane that broke the silence. 

“We need to talk.”, he whispered hoarsely, holding himself back from just wrapping the male up in his arms and forgetting about the situation all together. The words had Daryl tensing and peeking up from behind his bangs, grip tightening on Shane’s hand momentarily before he pulled away altogether with a nod, straightening up a bit. Rick shifted at those words and moved around Shane’s broad from, placing a hand on his lower back and sharing a light, understanding nod with him. He looked between the two men for a moment before sighing softly and looking down, nodding almost to himself as he went to leave. Shane stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder and tugged him in for light kiss on the lips, to which Rick smiled sadly and lightly squeezed his hip, slipping away before Shane could protest.

“I’ll be in the livin’ room, if you need me.”, he muttered quietly, almost reassuringly as his gaze flitted between Daryl and his ex partner one last time. Upon receiving a nod from each he ducked his head a bit and slid the door closed, leaving Shane and Daryl genuinely alone together for the first time in a month and a half. 

They each raised their eye to look at one another, and took long moments to just gaze, neither truly prepared to speak about the matter at hand. Daryl was the one to begin moving first, slinking forward like a skittish stray cat, silent and wary until they were close enough to touch. Shane’s fingers twitched at his sides, eager to feel Daryl under his palms again after so long, but he restrained himself, allowing Daryl to be the one to initiate. The archer seemed to hesitate as well, shifting his weight uneasily from foot to foot before he leaned in, slow and hesitant, and gently pressed his nose to Shane’s cheek. The deputy’s eyes fluttered shut and he stayed completely still, clenching his jaw as the man before him breathed him in. 

“I didn’t stop lovin’ you..”, came a near silent whisper, and the simple words had Shane nearly chocking around the lump in his throat, because even together they never went out and said shit like that. Never declared their love, or referred to one another as boyfriends. They were simple men, but to hear it like that, all raw and unhinged and out of practiced, made it sound so pure. So much like ecstasy compared to the month and a half he’d spent wondering. Suffering. Longing.

The brown eyed man tilted his head into the press of Daryl’s, shifting forward ever so slightly into his warmth, and their lips met slow and careful for the first time in what felt like years. They drew out each motion gently, hands meeting and fingers lacing together, fingertips hesitantly caressing over jawlines. When they finally eased back, Shane was dazed and misty eyed, hand shifting to gingerly grasp the shorter male’s bicep in an attempt to feel closer to him. The opposite hand was still holding Daryl’s, gripping it tightly in his own, keeping the male at least within arms reach. The archer reached up and lightly touched the side of Shane’s face, glancing up so their eyes could meet. 

“C’mon…Sit down with me…Ain’t gonna run off..”, Daryl whispered softly, shifting Shane back tentatively until he was able to rest at the edge of the bed. Daryl himself shifted to sit next to him, allowing Shane to keep his holding his hand. He figured it was the least he could do. Silence stretched between them for a moment longer before Daryl sighed and lightly squeezed Shane’s hand, not looking at him. “I…Didn’t expect him ta say yes…I ain’t stupid, Shane; he made moon eyes at you near constantly. I figured…I figured that…With all the history you two got, I didn’t compare up all that nicely. I figured f’I lured him off course a bit that…Maybe he wouldn’t look so appealin’?”, Daryl paused with a long sigh and rubbed the palm of his free hand over his pants leg.

“Like I said…Didn’t figure he’d go along with it….Then he…He started treatin’ me like you did..do, and his kids…They started…You know family ain’t exactly somthin’ I’m accustomed to, but…I got caught up…In..In bein’ wanted, I guess…I wasn’t…I wasn’t thinkin’. Not about you. Not the way I should have. Hell, I never even knew if you did have feelin’s fer him, but I figured…Somehow…After you found out…I guess – I mean…Well, I never figured you’d wanna…Stay with someone like me – like that…Really put shit into perspective…It wasn’t right..What I did, and I ain’t gonna sit here and try to make it seem like I was even justified, caus’n I don’t even think that myself. I wasn’t…I ain’t gonna say anythin’, but I fucked up. Bad…And, that even though got caught up bein’ loved by more then one person, nothing an’ no one is ever gonna amount to you…Not ever. The sex. The talk. The company. Nothin’ will ever be the same as you…Even had that in my head yesterday..Drunk off my ass. I wasn’t lookin’ for a drink…Shane, I was lookin’ fer you...”

“And, I never stopped lovin’ you, or how you took care of me. I ain’t going ta lie to ya now and tell you I don’t fancy Rick. But, he ain’t you…And, before you, there wasn’t anythin’…”, he finished quietly, still not looking Shane face, hand gripping the larger man’s fiercely, as if afraid to let go.

Shane stayed silent, soaking in the information for a long moment, letting it settle in and warm his chest. He sat up a little straighter and turned Daryl’s face towards his, gazing at him for a moment, giving himself time to just breathe in his presence before he gripped his jaw and brought him in for a slow kiss. He stayed like that, relishing in the way the tension evaporated from the archer’s shoulder as he was embraced instead of rejected. The male reached up to grip Shane’s hair, drawing him closer, kissing him back with a different kind of fervor, eager to feel the deputy close again. Shane pulled back, though, forcing himself to ignore the disappointment in Daryl’s eyes. He stood and pressed a gentle kiss to the male’s forehead, cradling his jaw for a moment before pulling away fully. 

“Stay here.”, he muttered softly, moving to the door and opening it, slipping out without another word. He went straight for the living room, and reached over the couch to grab Rick’s shoulder causing him to jolt with a start and then look up in a bewildered fashion. “C’mere. I need you to do something for me.”

The curly haired cop seemed confused and a little surprised, but complied none-the-less, allowing Shane to lead him back to the master bedroom without protest. Once inside he seemed a little more uncomfortable, but didn’t ask questions, merely looking to Shane for guidance much like Daryl, who seemed just as bewildered. Shane guided them both to stand near one another and took a deep breath, raking a hand through his hair. He then looked up sharply, face and tone completely serious.

“Kiss.”

Rick’s eyebrows shot up and Daryl’s drew together, eyes narrowing in surprise at the request. “What?”, they both asked, glancing at one another before looking back to Shane – who had yet to break his serious demeanor – one tone breathy and disbelieving and the other calling bullshit. 

Shane frowned slightly and crossed his arms over his chest. “Kiss.”, he responded simply, tone deeper and lower, demanding it this time more then requesting. 

Daryl seemed to be the one most effected by it, though Rick seemed a bit winded by the sound, most likely due to his years of experience with it in the bedroom. He knew Shane wasn’t kidding. He shifted uneasily for a moment before, turning his body to Rick who still seemed a little wary of the request. The cop complied, though turning himself to Daryl and giving him a questioning gaze, which earned him a one shouldered shrug. Daryl guided Rick’s hands up to cup the back of his neck and grasped his collar, tugging him a bit closer before easing him into a slow kiss.

They were awkward at first, motions uneasy and nervous, both acutely aware of Shane’s eyes on them. After a few tense moments, though they began to relax, bodies easing closer and hands beginning to drift over arms and sides, fingertips skimming over any exposed skin, caressing over hips. Shane observed silently, arms still crossed and gaze assessing before he began to slink closer, sliding his hands to the smalls of each other their backs, causing Rick to hum and Daryl to gasp softly. 

It still wasn’t fantastic watching them. He felt an odd jealousy over both, and something about watching Daryl enjoy another man’s tongue in his mouth, even Rick’s, left an unwelcomed coil of sickness in his gut. Though, he could admit to himself he also didn’t enjoy the thought of Rick pressing his tongue into anyone else’s mouth either. He pushed that aside though, burying the thoughts as his lips met the back of Rick’s neck, trailing wet, open mouthed kisses along it before he nuzzled at the base of the man’s skull. 

“I’m willing…To try this out..If you are, but…It’s..It’s gonna take some getting used to.”, he mumbled quietly, humming at the shudder he earned from Rick as the sensation of his breath on his skin. He met Daryl’s eye softly from over Rick’s shoulder and they leaned to give each other a light kiss on the lips, Rick’s form sandwiched between them for a second. 

When they pulled back, Daryl and Rick shared a look and the soft upward quirk of the archer’s lips made Shane suspicious. He was aware that little almost smile either meant something very good or very bad, and if the look in his eyes when they turned to meet his dark browns again was any consolation it would be a mix of both. Before he could ask, Rick was turning around and lightly leading him backwards, hands on his shoulders and eyes locked with his. 

“Maybe…We could apologize…”, Rick asked, stopping him near the bed and dropping to his knees, hands hovering over his belt buckle. Daryl slunk closer as well, circling behind Shane to smooth his palms over his shoulders, lips shifting to trail along the side of the man’s neck. 

“You know I ain’t any good at talkin’…Let us make it up to you without words..”, he muttered lowly, just behind Shane’s ear, tongue moving to wetly trace the sensitive skin there, humming when the larger shuddered slightly. 

“Well, I sure as hell ain’t sayin’ no, now am I…How could I turn down an offer like that?”, Shane breathed, a little less enthusiastically then he intended, a bit distracted by the sight of Rick unlatching his belt and pants. “Jesus…”

Rick glanced up at him with a light smirk and Daryl grasped the sides of Shane’s cargos, helping the male in front of him shimmy them down enough to manage out the larger male’s cock before coming to kneel beside Rick. The gravity of the position hit Shane with sudden clarity and he curse under his breath, his length twitching as he watched Rick slowly lick his lips. Daryl seemed to respect the fact this was the eldest man’s first time encountering Shane this way and allowed him the first go, watching just as fixedly as Rick took the deputy in hand and gave him a smooth, calculated stroke root to tip. 

“Fuuuck..”, Shane breathed, eyes snapping closed as the sensation of intimate touch washed over him after so long. Warmth bloomed in his lower pelvis and he let out a shuddery breath, hand moving to lightly stroke through Rick’s hair. “G’won…Take a taste, sweetheart…Ain’t gonna bite.”

Rick released a shaky sigh at the words and obeyed, looking starved and a little crazed as he leaned closer and carefully slipped the tip into his mouth, giving it a tentative suck that had Shane hissing softly. He pulled back with a satisfied noise and nosed his way down the male’s length to nuzzle his pubes, tonguing around the base of his cock. He sucked softly at the tender skin there before giving him a long lick from root to tip and sinking down his length, the sudden wet heat causing Shane to groan, hand shifting into a fist in the elder’s hair, guiding him down. 

“Fuck, darlin’ that’s right…All of it..Just like that.”, he muttered, pressing his hips forward tentatively, careful not to choke the elder. Rick only seemed encouraged by the action, usually striking blue eyes clouding to an intense navy as they locked with Shane’s. The man groaned again at the sight, tightening his grip further as Rick began bobbing his head, bucking forward when the back of the male’s throat massaged the head of his cock.

Shane could hardly register what was happening, the sensations mixed with the sight of his best friend on his knees, chocking down his cock was nearly a sensory overload. That coupled with fact Rick looked so damn happy to be gagging around his dick was reminding him of the first time Daryl ever went down on him the exact same way. His eyes trailed over to gaze at Daryl, who was already looking up at him with a punch drunk expression. He’d never gotten the chance to just watch Shane like this, and it was leaving him throbbing against his pants. He knew exactly what it felt like to have Shane down his throat, but seeing the look on his face and watching the muscles in his stomach work and his biceps flex as he lead Rick along had him desperate for a taste of his partner. They locked eyes and Shane’s opposite hand moved to touch Daryl’s cheek, caressing it softly before he looked down sharply at Rick. The man froze, shuddering at the gaze, and whined lightly as the larger tightened his grip on his curls.

“Share.”, Shane growled lowly, smirking when the elder man groaned around him and instantly pulled off and panting up at him with a whine. Daryl was quick to replace the other, going down on Shane’s dick with practiced ease, taking him down to the pubes and swallowing around him sharply. It was enough to have Shane’s knees nearly buckling with bliss. “That’s goddamn right…Such a fucking slut for it ain’t he Rick…Takes cock like he was born fer it. I’m sure you already know that though, don’t you.”, he hissed, tugging Rick’s hair back to make him watch close as he bucked down Daryl’s throat, succeeding in making the man gag. 

Rick felt breathless and too hot, hips lightly bucking into the air, mindlessly seeking friction as he watched the man he’d been bedding with for the past four months gag around another male’s cock. Some part of him felt it he should be disgusted, but he couldn’t find himself anything but aroused. Especially not with Shane speaking down to him in such a tone. He had always found the man’s gravelly voice attractive, but this surpassed that in so many ways. It was borderline menacing, menacing in a way that made his lower stomach heat up and dick ache. It was powerful like thunder, the motions of his hips like lightning, and the look in his eyes like cool rain, leaving him swept up in the storm that was Shane Walsh. He let out a light whine, Daryl shifting to meet his gaze from his peripherals as Shane moved down into his throat in smooth movements.

Abruptly he was being pulled off, to which he coughed lightly and sputtered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hands. Shane gazed down at the two of them, watching Daryl catch his breath before being pulled into a scorching kiss by Rick. Despite the slight discomfort that brought Shane, it was little more arousing, not putting a damper on the heat in his pelvis. He gave them both a once over before smirking down at Daryl. 

“G’wan then.”, he muttered lowly. The archer let out a breathless huff and pulled Rick in, the two situating themselves on each side of Shane’s cock. The two shared a look before opening mouths and pressing in, working over his length in a filthy French kiss, all tongue and lips and just the right amount of teeth. Shane’s head fell back and he groaned, hands finding each man’s hair. He squeezed his eyes shut, panting into the air as his hands closed into fists, his hips bucking forward each time Daryl’s tongue teased over a vein or Rick lips got caught on his head. “F-Fuck…A-AIn’t gonna last long..haven’t come in fuckin’ ages…”, he panted out, moaning maybe a bit too loud when he felt a mouth meet his balls and another move over his cock. 

He felt his stomach give a slow, heated roll and began to buck his hips, cursing quick and sharp into the air, allowing the warm heat surrounding him and the quiet gagged whimpers of whoever was sucking him to drag him sweetly over the edge. One flick of a tongue and he was loosing himself, fisting the male’s hair and forcing him to his base, shooting off in hot pulses wihtin the slick heat. He finished with a strangled whimper, hips giving soft little rocks until he shakily pulled out, trying to catch his breath. He looked down and flushed, chuckling at the fucked out expressions on Rick’s features. 

“H-Holy shit..”, the curly haired cop muttered, voice hoarse and completely wrecked. Shane beamed down at him and crouched down to kiss the male, smoothing back his ruffled curls with a gentle paw. He pulled back and pressed their foreheads together for a moment before pulling back to bring Daryl in for a kiss. 

“Holy shit is right…Good to know you like sucking cock as much as Daryl. I’ll put that to good use.”, he teased, noting the whine and the dark flush on his cheeks. The dark haired male turned to Daryl and lightly cupped his cheek, stroking a thumb over his cheekbone before pecking his lips again with a hum. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a soft voice calling his name, causing him to snap his mouth shut and quickly tuck his dick away. “Come’n, Judy.”, he called before looking to the two men who were fixing themselves just as quick. He smirked at their disheveled states and moved in, kissing each one lightly before playfully pinching Rick’s butt on his way to the door. “Go on and take care’a one another, be a pity to blue ball poor Rick over there, seems to have been waitin’ mighty long for this to happen. Treat ‘im well fer me, Dixon. I’ll make it up to the two of you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure I liked how this turned out, but I hope you enjoyed regardless! 
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to drop me some writing ideas if you want.


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